Well, I’ve been searching through the Internet for something like this, and just not finding what I’m looking for. And, I’ve gone through numerous books in my own collection, and still haven’t found what I’m looking for. So, I finally gave up — and wrote my own poem to sum up “Experiencing God“. I based it off the “7 Realities” found throughout the book. ;)

EXPERIENCING GOD by Kate Matthews
You are at work through every aspect
Of our daily lives
If we’d just pay attention, wait
And open up our eyes

You lovingly pursue us, call us
Into loving arms
Your love is real and personal
Not fake and full of charms

We all have been invited
To do what we see You do
You’ll do a God-sized work through us
And it’ll change us through and through

You speak to us, Lord, to reveal Your plans
Your purposes and ways
Through the church and prayer and circumstances
Your Word comes to life today

Sometimes we get to doubting
That what we’ve heard is from You
But if we act in faith on what we’ve heard
We’ll know it’s true

You ask us to adjust our lives
To join You in Your plans
We can trust that, if we do so,
You’ll hold us safe in Your hands

As we work to obey You, God
In all you ask, we trust
That the world will be changed for the better
By experiencing God through us.

© 2011, Kate Matthews

At LifeLivedFully.com, I found this post, the other day, about Why Some People Don’t Like Christians… and it really resonated with me. From there, I found her other post about how church should be more Like Going to a Bar… I’m telling you, this is GOOD READING!

Then, from that blog, I found Leigh’s blog, HopefulLeigh. And, her post, “Defining Me, Defining My Faith” was really inspiring. How do you define your faith? This kind of reminds me of the question asked in a video I was watching at my church, the other night: Have you sat down with Jesus to have the DTR talk? (Defining The Relationship) ~ figuring out where you stand?

And, lastly, I found Rebekah Gilbert’s blog, A New Song to Sing, and really liked her post about Distorted Views. Oh, how many “distorted” views I have! This blog post was convicting.

So, I encourage you today to go on over and read these posts… and hey, come back and let me know what you think! We’ll talk.

Not only am I learning this stuff from my current Bible study homework (“Experiencing God” by Henry & Richard Blackaby), but I also read it again in my review book, “Lazarus Awakening” by Joanna Weaver… and some of it popped up elsewhere, too!

• Lesson 1: We can’t make our plans and then ask God to bless them. Instead, we are to ask God what His plans are, and then join Him in those! (see Proverbs 16:9)

“Part of putting childish ways behind us,
spiritually speaking, involves setting aside
our misconceptions that if God loves us,
He must act according to our specifications,
our scripts, and especially our time lines.”
~ Joanna Weaver, “Lazarus Awakening“

• Lesson 2: God doesn’t want us following a formula in our faith, or in our relationship with Him.

“I wish I could outline
“Ten Easy Steps to Hear God Speak ~ Guaranteed!“
That would appeal to our
human craving for formulas.
But God’s communication is far
more individualized and intimate
than anything a self-help bestseller could teach.”
~ Joanna Weaver, “Lazarus Awakening“

• Lesson 3: Knowing God better helps me to hear Him better… I need to spend time in growing my relationship with Him.

“Since intimacy with us has always
been God’s goal, it makes sense that
hearing His voice would be linked to that
very thing. The better we get to know Him,
in other words,
the better we hear Him.”
~ Joanna Weaver, “Lazarus Awakening“

• Lesson 4: God speaks to me, personally.

“…I believe the Lord is speaking to me
more often than I know.
The problem is, I’m not always listening.”
~ Joanna Weaver, “Lazarus Awakening“

• Lesson 5: God wants a LOVE relationship with me.

“…for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine
…because you are precious to me.
      You are honored, and I love you
…You have been chosen to know me, believe in me,
      and understand that I alone am God.
…(Isaiah 43:1, 4, 10…)

• Lesson 6: God’s silence doesn’t indicate His rejection of me.

“The teacher is always silent during a test.”
~ Joanna Weaver, quoting Diane Freitag,
in “Lazarus Awakening“

• Lesson 7: I need to know who I am, and WHOSE I am.

“…two very important things we cannot
live without: …identity…and security.”
~ Joanna Weaver, “Lazarus Awakening“

Not a Fan promo from City on a Hill Productions on Vimeo.

My church is watching this 6-video series over the next three weeks (first two were shown this past Friday night). And, it’s good. Hard to watch… but good. And, I have a feeling it’s only going to get better.

((sigh))

But, then God gently reminds me…

“Do not get tired of doing good.
For at just the right time,
you will reap a harvest of blessing
if you don’t give up.”
~ Galatians 6:9

And…

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed
the passions and desires of their sinful nature
to His cross and crucified them there.”
~ Galatians 5:24

Daily. I have to daily lay down this urge that creeps up on me. When I feel really tired of being a “good Christian girl”, I have to remember that it really is worth it, in the long run. These temporary, earthly pleasures are nothing compared to what God’s got in store for me… if only I won’t give up. If only I’ll hold fast to what I believe in.

Cultural Christianity

I read a quote on John Piper’s blog, the other day, that said:

“I was afraid to admit my struggles for fear I’d be given yet another suggestion of something to try, advice that means well, but reinforces that my circumstances are unacceptable, and I need to do whatever I can to change them.”

Much as Christians often mean well with their advice, a lot of times it comes off — to me, anyway — as a judgment on my circumstances. My life has never been “acceptable” in the cultural Christian circles. I don’t fit. I’m a square peg, and they’re a round hole.

I’ve always been one to question, to think outside of the box. And, they don’t like that. They want all to conform to the standard and if you don’t, you’re seen as a “black sheep”, or as someone who is backslidden in their faith. You must not love God because you’re not obeying… us.

I honestly (now) believe that the reason I’ve had so much trouble with churches is because God has allowed me to step back and see the truth… that the church is not what He intended (intends) it to be; that it’s in need of a revolution.

I like the Harris brothers’ term for it: Rebelution.

If my unwillingness to conform to “cultural Christianity” makes me a rebel, so be it! This — if you ask me — isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This type of Christian rebel isn’t sin. It’s taking a stand FOR Jesus, for the Way that Jesus, Himself, taught us to live.

I was listening to one of Russell Moore’s “The Cross & the Jukebox” podcasts, last week, and it talked about individualism vs. community. While I know that Christianity is all about community — God made us for relationship, after all — I also kind of like the idea of individuality. Not in the sense of isolating yourself from others, or going it alone… that would be contrary to what the Bible calls us to, and therefore a sin. But, individuality in the sense that we are not all conforming and losing our God-given uniqueness.

Sometimes I think the church is trying to form a collective. “You must do this + this + this, or else you aren’t a Christian“.

I don’t want to be a robot. I don’t want to be like everybody else. I want to be ME, with all of my quirks and flaws.

I want to help others to see the truth of how God intended Christianity to really be. Not that I know it all, mind you. I’ve only had a tiny glimpse, so far. But it’s enough to have lit a spark in me… enough to have made me want to chase after this with all I’ve got…

…even if it means I risk being ostracized for being different; even if I’m labelled a “rebel”.

I believe in God the Father – maker of heaven and earth
And in Jesus Christ His only Son
I believe in the virgin birth
I believe in the Man of Sorrows bruised for iniquities
I believe in the Lamb who was
crucified and hung between two thieves

I believe in the resurrection on the
third and glorious day
And I believe in the empty tomb and the
stone that the angel rolled away
He descended and set the captives free
And now He sits at God’s right hand
and prepares a place for me

(Chorus)
This is my creed – the witness I have heard
The faith that has endured
This truth is assured
Through the darkest ages past
Though persecuted, it will last
And I will hold steadfast to this creed

I believe He sent His Spirit to comfort and to reveal
To lead us into the truth and light, to baptize and to seal
I believe that He will come back the way He went away
And receive us all unto Himself, but no man knows the day

I believe He is the Judge of all men, small and great
The resurrected souls of men receive from Him their fate
Some to death and some to life, some to their reward
Some to sing eternal praise forever to our Lord

p. 14 ~ “Look to see how God generally works throughout the Scriptures. When you learn how God has consistently related to people throughout history, you can expect Him to work in a similar way with you.”

I really liked this! It’s a good reminder, first of all, that God never changes. And, I like knowing that God has provided a guidebook for our lives, so we can see how things were resolved in the past, and have hope for our future.

p.15 ~ “The focus needs to be on God, not on my life.” (example: not “What can I do for God?”, but “What does God want to do through me?”)

Too often we make it about ourselves… we forget that we’re playing a part in God’s story, and that life here on earth isn’t about us. I’m certainly guilty of this. I get so caught up in the day-to-day dramas of life, that I forget that there’s a bigger picture.

p. 20 ~ “God wants you to come to a greater knowledge of Him by experience.”

I can definitely say that I’ve gotten to know God better through experiences of Him than I have had than through any reading I’ve done, or through any teaching I’ve heard. God has shown Himself in many different ways, sometimes more powerful, sometimes more subtle, but always in a way that I knew it was Him.

p. 25 ~ “As Moses obeyed God, God accomplished through Moses what Moses could not do in his own strength.”

Over and over, in my reading of the Bible (and through other Christian sources), I’ve learned that I can do nothing in my own strength and actually succeed… it has to be God that does it through me, if it’s going to work. But yet, over and over again, I go back to trying to do things in my own strength, praying that God will help me succeed. How silly! “For apart from me you can do nothing!“, God says in John 15:5. But, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me“, He also says in Philippians 4:13.

p.33 ~ “God-centeredness requires the daily death of self and submission to God.”

A lot of times I’ll think that submission and death-of-self are a one-time thing… I’ll pray for God to take the reins, and think that it’ll all be smooth-sailing from there, only to find out the next day that I have to lay it all down again!

p. 43 ~ “God has not changed. He still speaks to people.”

This is comforting. I love knowing that my God is the same one that I read about through the Scriptures; the same God who sent His Son to die for me; the same God who says He loves me. And, I love that He speaks to me.

p. 45 ~ “Do not assume that the moment God calls you, you are prepared for the assignment.” -and- p.47 ~ “God uses the smaller assignments to develop character… If God has a great task for you, He will expand your character to match that assignment.“

Sometimes we have to be patient and wait to see what God will do. Sometimes we’re called by God, but we’re not yet fully ready to take on what He’s asked of us.

I liked how, in the study book, the authors used the example of Abraham… God told him that he’d be the father of many nations, but Abraham had to wait 25 years to start to see anything come from that promise! In the meantime, though, God was preparing Abraham to be able to live that out… He knew that Abraham’s character had to be developed a bit more before Abraham would be ready to be the father of Isaac, etc.

p. 48 ~ “Often God will deliberately ask you to do what you failed to do in your own strength. Now you will do it in His strength.”

Anyone other than me find that they have to go through the same things over and over again, ’til they finally get it? LOL. I’m an awfully stubborn creature, apparently, ’cause there are some lessons that I have to repeat time and time again, in order to fully learn that God is the one who is in charge.

p. 53 ~ “I could say I obey Him, I serve Him, I worship Him, I fear Him. But I cannot say I love Him.“

Ugh. This one is a hard one to admit to. But, I think it’s true of me. It’s not that I don’t love God at all — it’s more so that I don’t love Him enough. The Bible tells us that we show we love God when we obey Him, and do what He says. (1 John 2:5) And, I have a hard time doing that. I still too often want to do everything my own way, and I too often live life as if it’s all about me.

p. 55 ~ “If you knew all you had was a relationship with God, would you be totally and completely satisfied?“

I wish I could say “yes”, but I’m not to that point, yet. I hope to get there, some day, though. I’m praying that that will be true of me at some point!

p. 58 ~ “Make sure you are investing your life, time, and resources in things that will last, not things that will pass away… Only God can guide you to invest your life in worthwhile ways.”

This was timely, as I’ve just recently made up a list of how I can be more intentional in my daily living. It all started when I read Chris & Kerry Shook’s book, “One Month to Live“. It got me thinking about how I spend my time, and about how a lot of what I do is not really investing in my future (eternity). Much of what I do isn’t really worthwhile, when you look at it from that perspective. So, I’ve decided that I’d like to change that.

This little quote, though, showed me that my list is going to need to be revised… because I left God out of the equation. I didn’t ask Him how He thinks I should best spend my time/resources.

p. 39 ~ “Open and closed doors do not always indicate God’s guidance. Check to see that prayer, the Scriptures, and circumstances agree on the direction you sense God leading you.“

This is both good and bad… I’m not sure I agree about the open/closed doors thing, though. I think God closes doors (opportunities) when it isn’t yet the right time — or, perhaps it isn’t the right opportunity. And, I believe He opens the doors when it is the right time/opportunity. But, I also definitely believe that you still need to check yourself against the Scriptures & such — and be in prayer, asking God for His clear direction — too. If you have the relationship with God, in the first place, I think it’ll be pretty clear from the above-mentioned sources whether/not God is leading you in a particular direction… opening/closing the door for that opportunity.

This one (below) really gets me ruffled…

p.45 ~ “In Scripture, God is not often seen coming and speaking to people just for conversation’s sake… When God speaks to you through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, the church, or another way, He has a purpose in mind for your life… He speaks to His servant when He is ready to move. Otherwise, He wouldn’t speak to you.”

Oh, really? Well, what about Adam & Eve? God walked with them in the Garden… and I’m sure they had plenty of conversation, just for the sake of their relationship! And, speaking of which, if God doesn’t talk to us at any time other than when He wants to do something, how on earth are we supposed to have a “relationship” with Him? Isn’t a relationship about speaking back & forth? about two people getting to know each other (obviously, in this case, God already knows us fully, but, humor me here…). I just don’t know that I believe what the authors are saying here. But, I’ve consulted with someone who I know happens to be an “expert” in this, and am awaiting a response. I’ll make note of it here, later.

p. 49 ~ “If what you’re thinking makes sense to you, it’s probably not from God.”

I can see how this could be true in some instances. For example, yes, God is oftentimes unpredictable. He often asks us to do things that don’t necessarily make sense to us. That doesn’t necessarily mean, though, that every time something actually does make sense to us, that it isn’t from God. God is not a God of chaos. He’s a God of order.

But, anything that goes against what the Bible says won’t be something from God. God will never ask us to do something that’s contrary to His Word.

** If you have any thoughts on any of this, please share! I’m still questioning, and would love to hear others’ opinions. Thanks in advance! **

But, I really have never liked going to church. And, in all honesty, I don’t like hanging around with other Christians.* Too often they are too preachy, or too judgemental, or too “holier-than-thou”. And I just can’t stand it!

For example, I recently posted to my Facebook wall that I was reading L. J. Smith’s series, “The Vampire Diaries“. And a good –Christian– friend of mine left a comment asking why I’d read “such trash”. I laughed it off and said, “Because I like reading vampire books!” Then, a few days later, I went to Bible study, and another (Christian) friend says, “I’ve been seeing your Facebook posts, lately, about the books you’re reading, and the Christina Aguilera music videos ~ why do you choose to fill your head with such garbage? I just don’t get it.” This woman said all of this with such a disgusted tone of voice, too.

Well, I have a question of my own: Who gave ya’ll the right to approve/disapprove of the media I consume? I mean, if you want to confront a Christian sister in love, and remind her that maybe her choices aren’t the most edifying, there are better ways to go about it. But, manipulation and shame aren’t it.

I’m tired of Christianity’s legalism and falseness. I love my LORD, and feel that He and I have a decent relationship. It’s not what I’d like it to be, certainly, but it’s at least a relationship that’s in process.

I want a strong, visible faith. But, I don’t want to be the type of Christian I’ve seen all of my life. I don’t want to be pious. I don’t want to follow a set of rules, or have a mental checklist that tells me whether/not I’m being a “good Christian” and walking closely with God (because I’m reading my Bible, going to church, and praying regularly, etc). I don’t want people to run for the hills when they see me coming — or, at the very least, roll their eyes — for fear that I’m goign to give them an earful about my faith.

I guess I kind of just like the faith that I already have. It’s a quiet faith, where I will share with others if God prompts me to, or if I feel the circumstances call for it; where I don’t go to church on Sundays, but have made attendance at my weekly Bible study a priority (it’s my “church”); where –every now & then– people will hear me talk about my faith and realize that maybe I have a closer relationship with God than they thought (because they were too busy assuming –based on my media choices, and my lack of church attendance– that I have a “weak” faith).

I want to live The Way of Jesus (as seen in the New Testament). I want to have a deep, abiding love relationship with my LORD that isn’t overbearing, but that definitely teases others into wanting the same for themselves. I want people to say, “There’s something different about her,” and then seek to find out what that is. But, the “difference” I want them to discover is an authentic, living, breathing faith in a loving heavenly Father who calls them (and me) to Himself.

———————————-
* Note: This does not include my blogging friends. I love reading Christian blogs, but that’s probably because I can choose the ones whose “tone” I like.